Are you hoping to build up your leadership skills? Traditionally this is done with years of experience, mentorship, reading, and sometimes a degree. The blockchain and quantum computing have disrupted this age old practice forever. Don’t be a chump. Follow the tips below to harness the synergy of the blockchain revolution and multiply the impactful stickiness of your thought leadership at least 243x.
Quote yourself
“Did you know that the direction of “clockwise” depends on whether you’re above or below the table?” #thoughtleadership #mindblown #synergy
– Stuart Dotson, 2019
Wow. That quote sure looks impressive. You have to be a real expert to be quoted by somebody. Especially somebody as esteemed and respected as yourself. Start with a single quote and keep iterating. Soon your quotes will be everywhere.
Think like a thought leader
Think like a thought leader. Start treating your thoughts like gold nuggets. Given that you’re a genius, and your brain produced those them, it logically follows that all your thoughts are genius.
Make a stand
You need to stand for things. Before that can happen, you need to stand in front of them, on top of them, and occasionally below or behind them. The next time your brain produces gold, leverage the blockchain and stand up in front of a crowd or on the table and state it very slowly. Deep thoughts are always stated dramatically and the deepest thoughts (yours) should be the slowest.
Make things more meaningful
Ascribe deep meaning to meaningless everyday actions. Think the company needs a greater diversity of perspectives? Loudly move or switch desks. You’ll be rewarded with a whole new perspective, guaranteed. That new fascinating wall you’re staring at is totally a good substitute for hiring more diverse candidates.
Viral visibility
Thought leadership is about visibility. Instead of working on tasks important for the company’s bottom line, work towards creating highly viral and engaging content for your company slack. The more likes you receive, the more your influence spreads.
Increase word count
Quality of ideas are determined in part by the quantity of words. Bonus points for tech jargon. What do I mean by “iterate on our disruptive thought leadership to promote customer stickiness?” Who cares! If it makes sense it’s not provocative. Spread these ideas far and wide by scheduling meetings with higher-ups to demonstrate your brilliance.
Communize don’t socialize
Don’t socialize ideas. Communize them. Creating new jargon amplifies your thought leadership by lending undeserved authority to vacuous concepts and erecting barriers to your exclusive club. Besides socialize implies that those ideas are owned by the people. They’re not. They’re owned by the centralized decision makers at the company.
Make everything sticky
Everything needs to be sticky. Stop washing your hands this instant. If somebody asks you about this unhygienic practice tell them you’re biohacking. Disrupt the office biome. Double internet points. Neat!
Buy my ebook
We all know the extreme vetting and editorial process a self-published ebook has to go through to make it to the hallowed shelves of Amazon. Buy my ebook riddled with the sort of fundamental grammar and spelling mistakes that will make you marvel at my ability to write at all! Make the investment in your future and buy today.
Frantically looking around for the link to my book? It doesn’t exist! This whole thing is a joke! #thoughtleadership